By Marilyn Jozwik
Some years ago, a teacher talked about something that she called The Red Corvette Theory.
The idea, a I remember it, was that if you have a red Corvette, you will notice more of them because they are uppermost in your mind. It’s not like there are suddenly more red Corvettes on the road. It’s just that once you have one, you begin to look for them.
Try it out with the car you’re driving. In our case, it would be a 2016 grey Toyota Corolla. It seems like every other car on the road is a similar vehicle. Granted, there are herds of them out there, but now that we have one, they seem to pop out in every lot – and there’s been way too many times that I’ve tried to get into the wrong grey Corolla.
But I also notice this phenomenon in other areas, such as expressions I take note of for the first time. A few years ago, I heard the term “scofflaw,” referring to a person who flaunts the law, like someone who ignores traffic rules. I’m sure I had heard it before, but in this instance it stuck. It wasn’t long after that I would hear it more frequently and start using it myself. The term had moved from my brain’s basement to the living room.
Then again, there’s another more insidious way The Red Corvette Theory manifests. Years ago, a group of workers would sit around at lunch time and someone would mention a coworker they didn’t like. Suddenly, everyone at the table could find reasons to denigrate that person. And then, even worse, after that we would look for those reasons – maybe the feeling was they were favored by the boss or talked too loud on the phone or took more authority than we thought they ought. The next time our lunch group met, we had a whole new arsenal of insults to contribute.
By the same token, if someone admired a coworker and started the ball rolling with praises, the group would join in with kudos of their own. And just the reverse would happen. We would look for the good in those people.
Our little gossipy lunch sessions came to an end when a new coworker joined us and started the conversation ball rolling about interesting topics she had heard on public radio. It got us all out of our fault-finding missions and into more constructive and informative dialogue. I think about that when conversations start to turn toward negativity, especially about others.
What I learned from that is that, whatever you look for in life, you will probably find. If you carry a grudge, or simply have a personality conflict with someone, you will constantly be looking for reasons to support your opinions. Usually, if you really stop to think about that person, much of your feelings are emotions, and not rational. All the perceived wrongs or slights become bigger and bigger when they are focused upon, until they crowd out anything positive that might be lurking in our subconscious. Maybe we can’t even remember what started us on the road to disliking that person, but we still will look for the negative traits.
Tom always says I’m a Pollyanna, a glass is always – or at least usually -- half-full person. But I’ve certainly had doubts about people, have found myself involved in conversations disparaging others or felt angry about perceived slights. Yet, as I get older, I find myself trying to assess the whole person. To not get stuck in the negative side of The Red Corvette Theory, concentrating on virtues, rather than vices.
I don’t have a red Corvette to look for, but I do have a bounty of blessings which I seek and am thankful for every day. And that is even better.